That's intense
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
