Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
