i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
