his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
