im drinking this country out of the recession.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
