found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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