the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
