Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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