turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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