The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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