Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If I die, sorry about rent.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
