It's like a parade of train wrecks.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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