i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
