y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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