the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize