Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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