When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
