Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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