Please, let me fuck your mom
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
