i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
