I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Houston, we have a squirter
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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