a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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