Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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