i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
