How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize