did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
