He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
