Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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