my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
