you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize