I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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