I hope mine doesn't look like that
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
