he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
even my farts smell like vagina
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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