; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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