I could have mohawked her pubes.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
