Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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