did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
