jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
