Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
