Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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