I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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