he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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