i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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