Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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