the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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