the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
