Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
