What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
