Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize