plz talk dirty to me
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
