I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
jump out the window naked night went bad
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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