weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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