I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
