I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
