im having a threesome with these popsicles
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
