Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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