i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We need to rekindle our bromance
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
