Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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