I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
