Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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