first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
