I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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